Communist? Me?

“I am a member of the CPI(M), let me in”, said D. Raja, official bastard of the CPI(M). As he stood in front of the guard of a new shopping mall, in his Nike’s, he looked irate. The guard said, “I’m sorry sir, but this is for your own good. If I let you in, then you will plunge into a policy contradiction.”

“What the hell are you talking, man?”, interjected the communist pig.

“Well, sir, you see, this Mall is a beacon of development. And your party, if you can even call it that, is against development. So it would be a direct contradiction to your policies if you enter here and buy anything.”

The waste of experimental semen from the party of wastes of social misfits was dumbfounded. For, now the whole country was against communism. The recent law to bar communists from places of complete development was a landmark in making parties stick to their political policies. Now, the only places a communist can go are to the fields and factories.

If a communist wants to buy a car, he’ll have to buy a cheap one. No communist can now be richer than his other communist counterparts. And since most of the people who get sucked into this ideology are poor, it seems to have an adverse backlash on the well to do communists who could only get support from the weaker sections of society.

All their stupid freaking policies of ‘equality’ through suppression have turned against them. Now their accommodations have been tuned way down to a simple cottage for each communist family. They can henceforth not have any fun and can’t even smile as per the new law. If they get a feeling of happiness, they have to turn themselves in to the police station and face a jail term of 20 days with an increment of 10 days for every subsequent feeling of happiness.

Apart from this, the only  health care they will get is from a first aid kit placed in the center of each town. If found mingling with any non-communist, the communist will be shot and killed and his assets transferred to the non-communist.

A communist can speak all he wants about how unhappy he is with whatever he is unhappy with at the moment. That’s his only right. He can also blow himself.

After being explained all these things by the guard, D. Raja says, ” What? Communist? Me?”