The gayest litte crisis.

What’s weird? More than seeing Britney with underwear. More than finding out that Narendra Modi and Sonia Gandhi had a love child. More than seeing SRK actually act. Or reading something worthwhile from Shobha De. Or catching an in-time flight in India? No, not Om Shanti Om. It’s finding out that Pervez Musharraf is courting Nawaz Shareef behind the scenes of a  political crisis. Yes, people, the truth is out. It was out there somewhere and  now it’s in the tabloids.

Every gossip column (even SD) has been talking about the latest turn of events in the Pakistan crisis. About the truth behind all the history between Mush and Shareef. It’s been said in a press release by the two “love-birds” that the reason Shareef fired Mush in the first place is because he was feeling guilty of cheating on his wife. That’s when Mush tried to confront him and tell him that things could work out. But it was not to be. After a heated argument and some tea and crumpets followed by a bubble bath later, they parted ways with Shareef giving away Pakistan as he said “everything here reminded me of him and I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed time off…..from him and from here.”

So he went crying into the arms of a Saudi Royal who took “good care” of him. But after years of experiencing agony (both mentally and in the anus), Shareef decided to come back to Mush to profess his undying love for him. Mush on the other hand, wouldn’t have any of it and decided to ban him from entering the country by using current love interest Ifthikar Choudhary to seal the deal. But fearing a backlash from the public, IC said he couldn’t do it, thus ending another of Mush’s love stories and another court case against him for “illegally” removing him from his position as CJ and also allegedly “causing a boo-boo in his heart and anus.”

Having failed in love twice already, Mush decided to allow Shareef back into the country as according to him, “if I can’t fuck them, at least I can fuck with the nation’s time an money and also it’s people.”

Days after Shareef touched down, he went to meet IC to see if he was willing to make an “alliance” so that they could make Mush “J” as he called it. But, Mush’s cronies prevented the meeting from taking place by intervening and calling Shareef names to which he cried all the way home. He then proceeded to watch “The OC” and then took a bubble bath during which time he remembered the “good old times” with Mush. This made him realize that all he wanted in life was Mush and a little hair in his bald head maybe. He also realized that with the new offers in the clinic opposite his house, he could weave hair into half his head and the other half came free! Thus he had only one more thing to get back : Mush.

Following this realization, he called on his former lover and after a little talking, they decided to reconcile and announce to the world the new turn of events via a press conference. A few excerpts:

Media Person: Sirs,  what are your further plans?

Mush : Well, to make up, I’m going to take my daring to Paris for 3 days and 2 nights. Is there anywhere else you want to go, dear?

Shareef(happily) : Oh really? That’s soooo sweet baby. I always knew you were a hopeless roman….

MP : No, sirs, I meant the political aspects. What are you both going to do in the upcoming elections? Are you going to form an alliance? Or is one of you going to back out?

M : What back out? I’m a Military man…I don’t back out.

S : But you do put it back in. Tee hee hee hee hee.

M : Well, yes I do , darling, yes, I do.

MP : Sir, the question…..

S : Well, I think we’ll go to Venice after that. It’s more quiet and peaceful there.

MP : No, I meant MY question.

M : Mind your tone, young man.

MP : Yes, sir. And what are your policies on your agenda that you will be looking to address if you win?

S : Wellllllll, first of all, I want to legalize homosexuality. It’s a damn shame that we have to go behind the tree to do stuff here.

MP : Other than that , sir?

S : Oh! Sooooo many questions……Make him stop, Musshie, male him stop. (closes ears and screams)

M : Now look what you’ve done…..

Mush then proceeded to take the MP out of the hall and what happened next behind the alley, no one knows, but an eye witness alleged that he saw Mush hand him some money and say “Thanks for getting him all mushy and peppered up. Tonight’s  going to be fun…..tee hee hee……………….”

Currently, both Mush and Shareef are in Paris on their romantic getaway. Rumors are abuzz that they are planning to adopt a boy from Ethiopia and call him “Shmush”.